| Crunch gets physical
Zenon Konopka had just finished his lunch of chicken and pasta and was preparing for his pregame nap Friday afternoon when he got a call from Portland coach Kevin Dineen. Dineen relayed the news that Konopka, a center, had been traded to the Syracuse Crunch. Talk about your pending indigestion and insomnia. Then, Konopka did something strange considering his immediate future. He looked at the bright side. And a couple of hours later, while packing his suitcase for a plane ride to Syracuse, he was still bubbling. "Tired but still wired," Konopka said of himself. "I was winding down when I got wound back up with the phone call?" And that's all the explanation needed for why Columbus was willing to pull off a stunner of a deal that cut the faintly beating heart out of the Syracuse Crunch offense.
Jade's New Show - Supermarket Sweeper
Volte-faces and TV comebacks are two-a-penny of course, but the return of the Goodies is something else! After the tear-stained (onion-flavoured glycerine) outpouring of remorse and despair over her spoilt lifestyle, Jade has vowed to work in her local supermarket in a move reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn taking the veil in The Nun's Story (only Audrey was taking the convent route rather than Quik-Save).In a newly-commissioned show for Chav TV (proprietors Jadiey and Jackiey Goodiey), Jade is going to run a small Essex supermarket (proprietors Jadiey and Jackiey Goodiey) with a staff that will be horribly familiar to all her fans (sic). Specialising in fatty meats is weight-watching sensation Rik Waller, 44; while on the returned DVD and strait-jacket counter, Ken Russell, 96, will preside with avuncular slippers.Other key members of the Jade's team are Danni Sherri-Lloyd, 8, and Jo O'Minger, 57, who are in charge of Indigestion Medicines, Cigarettes and, of course, Race Relations.In a shock move designed by programme makers (all recently 'let go' by Endemol, incidentally) to grab viewers tightly by the gonads, the visiting health, safety and etiquette inspector is none other than Shilpa Superstar!Viewers are warned to expect scenes of prolonged violence, fury, vilification, feigned remorse, crocodile tears and finally well deserved obscurity.
Purple reign: Prince delivers epic halftime show
Phew! CBS got through the halftime show without a "wardrobe malfunction." The Artist Formerly Known as a Munchkin of Wardrobe Dysfunction began by singing Let's Go Crazy, but he didn't. Prince, who became a Jehovah's Witness in the mid-1990s, no longer wears yellow, butt-baring pants as he did at the 1991 MTV Video Music Awards (prompting Howard Stern's send-up at the '92 VMAs). The closest thing to a fashion statement Sunday night was an odd kerchief on his head. So the NFL had no repeat of the 2004 Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake show, which happened the last time CBS broadcast the game. The 48-year-old Prince, who rose to stardom in the '80s with his distinctive fusion of R&B, funk, soul and rock, once looked androgynous and produced songs that (lest we forget) drove Tipper Gore nuts (and made her a fat target for anti-censorship types like Frank Zappa).
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